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Sometimes something happens and, at that moment, it is more important than breathing.  People say something  takes their breath away, and they mean it.

I have had this happen to me several times throughout the course of my life.  What I find interesting is the wide variety of things that, for whatever reason, fit into this oddly ubiquitous category.

The births of my children certainly generated that feeling, as did my wedding day.  Seeing Farfar in the “home” the other day had the same effect, but of a completely different ilk.  When I got the news of my mother passing, muck like, but to a far greater degree than when I heard of my grandmothers passing, I was indeed breathless.  My first moment of complete intimacy, same thing.

Those all make sense, however there are others.  Others that, on the significance scale just do not seem to measure up. And yet… there I was, struggling to regain (with apologies to my heart beat, which has a tendency to skip at these same moments) my most basic bodily function, over the arrival of my cookie dough this morning.  Cookie dough!

Lets see watching my son fly head first out of control off of the trampoline v. cookie dough…

Dear lungs,

I think you are missing the big picture.

Respectfully,
me

I guess 42 years is not quite enough to have everything figured out, even something as simple as maintaining your own breath…

Something of significance came out of California today, as reported by NPR:

The California Supreme Court on Thursday overturned a voter-approved ban on gay marriage, paving the way for California to become the second state to allow marriages between gay and lesbian couples.

The case centered around a series of lawsuits opposing a voter-approved law that defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman. The city of San Francisco, which was among the plaintiffs, compared the law to a ban on interracial marriage that the state Supreme Court struck down in 1946.

I am, of course, elated by this news.  However I am cautiously elated (if that makes any sense).  My fear is more legislation like that which I have seen already where State Legislatures adopt a change to the state Constitution, rather than to the law to attempt to circumvent exactly this part of the process from working (or failing, if you are on the other side of this particular fence).

It will be interesting to see if this decision works to the benefit or detriment, big picture, of the cause.

Just a quick note to point out a new project I’m working on over here. I’m taking random excerpts from random books on my bookshelf and writing about them. If it sounds interesting to you, check it out.

My grandfather (FarFar) is nearing the end of his time with us. All of us are, of course, he just has an 89 year head start on anyone born last year. As such, I have naturally spent some time dealing with my own mortality and the process of death and dying as well.

I think being around death is a natural part of the process of living. I do not, of course, mean grisly and unfortunate death, but rather the natural course of old age. It is something that I think people in modern times actually “miss out” on, as part of their living experience (for a variety of reasons, longer life expectancy as well a more concerted effort in modern society to isolate the elderly and dying). Obviously there is nothing enjoyable about watching a loved one begin the process of moving on, but there is a lot of introspective learning that comes with it that I don’t think you get from any other experiences (at least none I have come across in my 42 years).

Yesterday I read a passage from “The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying” that caught my eye and engaged my imagination.

Perhaps the deepest reason why we are afraid of death is because we do not know who we are. We believe in a personal, unique, and separate identity; but if we dare to examine it, we find that this identity depends entirely on an endless collection of things to prop it up: our name, our biography, our partners, family, home, job, friends, credit cares… it is on their fragile and transient support that we rely for our security… Without our familiar props, we are faced with just ourselves, a person we do not know, and unnerving stranger with whom we have been living all the time…

One of the things I have experienced with FarFar, is his eroding sense of self, and the desperation and anguish this is causing him. He has always been a very proud man. He has always been at the center of the show and commanded an audience. He was your typical alpha-male.

He is now struggling with his memory, really, he is struggling for control of his mind. It is a battle which he is currently not winning.

It has been interesting, observing and talking to him, to see how important “things” are to him. His name being properly pronounced, and properly configured (long story there), an heirloom that has not been properly passed down and maintained to name a few.

As an extension, of course, I started investigating myself. Exactly how externally validated am I? What is it, within myself and in the trappings with which I surround myself, that defines me, and, am I happy with that mix? I think there is validity in both of these “scorecards”, there is certainly something to be said for a persons legacy. But at the end of the day (quite literally in this case) one only needs to reconcile themselves with themselves… and their creator, if they are of such a belief system. I believe that inner peace and a satisfying reconciliation needs to come, at least in part, from within and not the afore mentioned “collection”.

So I guess the questions to ask are: How well do you really know yourself? How long can you be alone with yourself without feeling the need to supplement with external influences? Does that time “alone” improve you as a person? What can, or should, you do to improve your internal validation process?

People who have a larger proportion of their validation coming from within are, in general, more stable and able to deal with the challenges of life. Logically they also deal better with being alone, which can be a significant benefit when dealing with age.

These are things that I probably know, or at least did at one point, from reading and studying; however, it was all brought around again and reinforced by the new adventure I am taking with FarFar.

I got a great suggestion today. Simply put it was “inspire other people to do good things.” We talked a bit more about how this might be done. We discussed, for example, the pros and cons of “bribery” when it comes to doing things that better the world. In the end, we decided that a little reward never hurt anyone. In fact most things come with rewards, just because they are not financial, does not change the motivating force that they are.

So… I’m going to bribe you

First the reward. $50 Amazon gift certificates, two of them (unless someone else donates more

The first winner will be drawn from the first 10 people to complete the “challenge.” The second will be more subjective, a random draw from what I believe to be the best 5 entries/suggestions. So, yes, one person *could* win both, if they were both fast and brilliant.

Entries can be submitted to me via twitter or by comment here on the blog (bonus points for anyone who does both). I will acknowledge every entry, so if you do not hear back from me, follow up!

Here is the “challenge.” Use your “voice” to publically advocate, suggest, or implement some kind of positive movement/change/idea. This can come in a variety of forms. You could promote a charitable cause, plan an event, publish detailed(ish) instructions on how to hold an event (empowering others to do so), advocate a cause in a proactive and forward moving way (complaints will not be considered). The method of delivery is flexible as well, provided it is something that can be shared, spread, etc. For example, you could write a blog, issue an utterz, create a video and post on youtube, etc. Any form of public expression is acceptable, I just have to be able to go see/hear/etc. it after you submit it.

I will probably be compiling all of these into some sort of coherent mashup’y thing, so please do not submit anything you do not want packaged and shared. No, in case you are wondering, I will not be making any money off of any of this… I may post a donation link to some international cause, but that will be the only money exchanging hands related to this project. I will post links to all of the entries once the contest is complete.

So that’s it. Write, speak, record your ideas for making the world a better place. Send me a link to your notions and sit back and wait to see if you are $50 amazon dollars richer for your efforts.

A few days ago, over dinner, there was a discussion about the speed trap (which was actually a stop sign trap) near my house. The conversation centered around the mythical (mythical to the every police officer I have ever met, very real to many civilians) quota system each officer must abide by in order to preserve the privilege of putting themselves in harms way to protect and serve the general public.

There are crooked cops, we know this. There is police brutality, we know this. Civil rights are violated by these “bad cops”, we know this as well.

However, what we ignore, all too often, is the real reasons we have our boys in blue (or black, or white, or whatever your local troopers wear) in the first place.

There is a great scene in the movie Sea of Love with Al Pacino (it is the second “clip” in the video below) where he echoes what must be the sentiments of many an officer by pointing out that, in essence, cops are perceived to be the bad guys, until someone needs them, at which point they become everybody’s hero.

Recently , in Boise, we had an officer decorated as the nations “top cop” a prestigious award which is NOT given for the most speeding tickets issued, or the most effective job of racial profiling. Rather this is as award that is given to an officer who goes above and beyond the call of duty to an extraordinary degree. No, I was not being redundant, they take all of the people who have gone above and beyond, and then pick the most extraordinary from that group.

Can you imagine how interesting it must be to read all of the annual submissions? Now there is a reality TV show I might watch…

Boise Police Officer Brek Orton received the award for risking his life and saving a 58 year old grandmother who was stuck underwater in the Boise River. The woman had been underwater an estimated eight minutes when he arrived on the scene and the current was so strong that it had already pried two knives out of the hands of would-be rescuers. Without a moments hesitation, Orton jumped in the water and managed to relieve the pressure on the suit so that it could be cut away. He then swam down river with her until he was able to find a place to get her out of the river.

Why am I telling this story now, instead of, say, a week or so when a friend requested I write something positive about the police force? Because today is the start of National Police Week, and that seemed worth the wait.

While you are out and about this week, maybe give a short nod or smile to the officers who cross your path. Rather than getting upset because they are lurking to catch you doing something wrong, give ‘em a break and don’t speed or run that stop sign. And while you’re at it, perhaps give a little credit, for what they do each and every day, to protect and serve all of us.

I’m just say’n…

1. Afternoon breezes that take the edge off the *heat*.

2. My youngest sons face when his grandmother walks off the plane from Japan for the summer.

3. Watching the boys jump on the tramp… with the sprinklers on.

4. Actually reading some of the books stacked on my desk!!

5. Hancock

6. My brothers wedding (beginning of June), for him, and for all of the family it will bring together.

7. A lengthy road trip, I don’t care where, just getting in the car and going… somewhere…

8. Writing more

9. Operation Constant Compliment (coming to a web page and Twitter near you)

10. The first leaf of autumn falling wistfully to the earth…

The problems in Burma are not getting any better, however opportunities to help are.:

Relief agencies say decomposing corpses litter ditches and fields in the worst-hit Irrawaddy delta area as survivors try to conserve fuel for transporting much-needed supplies.

They are concerned the lack of medical supplies and clean food and water threatens to increase the already staggering death toll.

Myanmar’s military government says more than 22,000 people died when the killer cyclone battered the country’s low-lying delta region over the weekend. The top U.S. diplomat in the country has said the toll could top 100,000.

A World Food Programme plane carrying high-energy biscuits landed in Myanmar on Thursday to provide a small dose of assistance amid a mushrooming humanitarian crisis.

It is great news that the WFP plane was able to land and that more help is on the way and being allowed in to the country. You can help the WFP here http://www.wfp.org/english/

If you prefer a more personal reason to give, I have a friend with family over there and she is also hopeful that everyone will help as they are able.

Please help… thx

Okay okay… first of all… I could publish these more regularly… this is true

I think some people are getting tired of me asking. Today on Twitter, I only received one response, even though I have over 100 more followers than the first time I asked. However, the response I got was a good one!

Show Gratitude daily / random acts of kindness / share a smile with someone whether they deserve it or not / reach out to others

princess_belle, I like where your heads at!!

It was suggested, a few days ago, that I write a piece extolling the virtues of the police, something that really is lacking in the press. I am going to do so, just not sure when, but I think there is good value in this piece… so watch for it

One of my co-workers suggested looking for people who appeared down and lonely and befriending them. Due to time constraints I am not the best person for this job, however I have spent several lunches lately walking around and engaging people (who match this description) in conversation. By that, largely I mean, I start talking to them, and then let them do most of the talking. I think (and it seems to be working) that most people who are in this state probably needs someone to listen to and validate them, more than they just need someone talking to them.

A great suggestion was to “rekindle the spirit of community in business.” I really liked this idea because, of course, I’m such a fan of the community aspects of the current incarnation of the web. Toward this end I did a series of free consultations over the past week for friends in business looking to improve their brands etc. Interestingly I probably learned as much as they did. It turns out that when someone is not paying you for a consultation, they are quite a bit more liberal with their ideas and creativity.

I’m looking forward to more suggestions, please keep them coming!!!